John reporting again

Hello friendly readers, As I rapidly approach the completion of my second week of age, I would like to take this space to educate you on an excellent strategy I have recently acquired. Many people say that it's not possible, but I've perfected a technique to go through three diapers in under 30 seconds! I know ... I know.... they said it couldn't be done... 1: You are wearing the first diaper. Fill it. (corrolary to point 1): Make sure you pee a little - not too much - so that when you get checked it looks like you are probably empty. 2: Your caregivers will now attempt to change you. Allow them to get ready. It's ideal if the change table is basically clear of everything except for the diaper they plan to use as a replacement for the first one. 3: Once they begin the changing process and are looking around for vaseline or something like that - pee. (corrolary to point 3): It is best to pee as ferociously as possible. The ideal tactic is for a long arching trajectory that hits the wall or some precious posession - this will cause your caregivers to panic. 4: Your caregivers will be very motivated to stop your wanton urination and will grab the closest thing at hand to cover your urinary 'weapon'. 5: If the table has been basically cleared (except for the cute stuffed animals that you may be peeing on), the first thing they snag will be your new diaper. 6: Perfect! They are soaking things up with the new diaper - rendering it 'used'. They will feel too guilty to put it on you and you have finished off two diapers. Only one to go! 7: The last and most advanced step is to now relax. The third diaper will come out. The table will be wiped. You will be wiped. There may be some expressions of dismay tempered with love. 8: As the third diaper arrives, things are winding down. This is the time to truly test their love. Give a cute little gurgling sigh. Exhale gently. Release the last little trickle that you have been saving up. 9: Game, set, and match. I managed twenty diapers yesterday - I look forward to hearing from my blog fans how many diapers they will manage to eradicate using these foolproof steps. Leave a comment and let me know how it goes. I hope you have a terrific weekend - John Caleb Epp.